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Admit It, Mama: You’ve Googled It Too!

As a mom I often find myself Googling the most random phrases and questions, my most memorable searches include the following:

  • Ways to figure out the sex of your baby at home – Despite the fact that I was told the sex of my baby from the get go, I was still interested to see if cravings let you know the sex, I even did an online baby gender predictor and it came up with boy!
  • How to induce labor – I literally followed EVERY single way there was, it didn’t help,, lol
  • How little sleep can a person actually survive on? – Apparently very little :/

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Google can be your best friend as a mom, but sometimes, I have found, it can get things very wrong…

So on Friday my son had a fever, and didn’t want to take any meds, so after a stop at the local pharmacy I walked out with a bag of remedies, one of which included suppositories. Having very little experience in this department, I decided to google the following:

How to Insert a Rectal Suppository

SUPPOSITORY

SUPPOSITORY

I got the following advice:

Have the recipient lie on their left side with their right leg pulled up towards their chest. – Well my son thinks I’m changing his nappy, so so-far he is lying on his back, so oblivious…

Lift the right (upper) butt-cheek up to expose the rectum. – Still good, he thinks Im just putting on the bum cream

Insert the lubricated tip of the suppository into the rectal opening. – Just like that? Oh God, he saw it, he has started squirming.

Hold the buttocks together tightly for a few seconds after insertion. – Wait, Im still on step three… I have pinned him down with one hand, suppository aimed at butt in the other…

Remain lying down for several minutes after insertion. – He’s up now, trying to crawl away butt naked,, maybe I should have another go while he’s trying to run

You should insert it as soon as possible. Holding the suppository for too long will make it melt in your hands. – Yip this is happening

Make sure that the child is not moving around while you insert the suppository. – How Google? You left out the part of what to do if the other party isn’t willing.  Goooogggle??? Anyone???

Needless to say Boy – 1, suppository – 0

He took his panado syrup later, after he felt less traumatized, and his fever broke. I think he also realized what would happen if he didn’t. The next day my boy was back to his busy self! Sometimes Google just doesn’t have all the answers.

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