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Things I’ve learnt since becoming a mom…

Mothers know everything, this is just a plain and simple fact.

Ask a mother any question, and she’ll give you the answer. Ironically if you ask 20 mothers the same question, be prepared for 20 different answers. Going into motherhood, I knew exactly what kind of parent I was going to be, how I would raise my child, my ideas of teaching and discipline already well thought out,, but OH, how wrong I was…

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These are thing I never knew until I became a mom:

I didn’t know I could love in such an unconditional, proud way.

I didn’t know what true and complete sacrifice was. Sacrifice of your body, your time, your sleep, your days, your things, your self.

I didn’t know the sound of nails on a chalkboard is soothing when compared to a child who won’t stop screaming

I didn’t know when the screaming stopped, instead of being grateful, I would panic—and then proceed to awaken the baby to make sure my bundle of joy was still breathing (and the cycle would continue…)

I didn’t know how intensely moms can support each other.

I didn’t know the excitement of hearing “Mommy” for the first 100 times

I didn’t know the annoyance of hearing “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy” 100 times in a row

I didn’t know that shopping by myself would be a mini vacation.

I didn’t know the the bliss of smelling a freshly bathed baby.

I didn’t know something so small and so cute could smell so bad

I didn’t know how one smile could brighten my entire day

I didn’t know I’d try almost anything to get my baby to sleep or eat or to stop tantrum

I didn’t know Adrenalin runs out after about 3.5 months

I didn’t know how dark children’s literature can be

I didn’t know how strong a Mother’s Intuition really is

I didn’t know that I would have to say “No” a million times a day

I didn’t know I’d ever have to use the Heimlich maneuver

I didn’t know the power of Barney

I didn’t know the joy of singing the alphabet song over and over and over and…

I didn’t know what real suffering was—until I saw my child suffer

I didn’t know what helplessness was—until I realized there was nothing I could do to stop the pain

I didn’t know I wouldn’t want to know some things

I didn’t know how long this list would be, and that I could probably add another million things to it.

I didn’t know the joy of a simple glass (bottle) of wine after my son has fallen asleep.

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I didn’t know that having a baby would be the best thing in my life ever!

I’d love to hear some of the interesting things you have learnt since becoming a parent!

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Admit It, Mama: You’ve Googled It Too!

As a mom I often find myself Googling the most random phrases and questions, my most memorable searches include the following:

  • Ways to figure out the sex of your baby at home – Despite the fact that I was told the sex of my baby from the get go, I was still interested to see if cravings let you know the sex, I even did an online baby gender predictor and it came up with boy!
  • How to induce labor – I literally followed EVERY single way there was, it didn’t help,, lol
  • How little sleep can a person actually survive on? – Apparently very little :/

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Google can be your best friend as a mom, but sometimes, I have found, it can get things very wrong…

So on Friday my son had a fever, and didn’t want to take any meds, so after a stop at the local pharmacy I walked out with a bag of remedies, one of which included suppositories. Having very little experience in this department, I decided to google the following:

How to Insert a Rectal Suppository

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I got the following advice:

Have the recipient lie on their left side with their right leg pulled up towards their chest. – Well my son thinks I’m changing his nappy, so so-far he is lying on his back, so oblivious…

Lift the right (upper) butt-cheek up to expose the rectum. – Still good, he thinks Im just putting on the bum cream

Insert the lubricated tip of the suppository into the rectal opening. – Just like that? Oh God, he saw it, he has started squirming.

Hold the buttocks together tightly for a few seconds after insertion. – Wait, Im still on step three… I have pinned him down with one hand, suppository aimed at butt in the other…

Remain lying down for several minutes after insertion. – He’s up now, trying to crawl away butt naked,, maybe I should have another go while he’s trying to run

You should insert it as soon as possible. Holding the suppository for too long will make it melt in your hands. – Yip this is happening

Make sure that the child is not moving around while you insert the suppository. – How Google? You left out the part of what to do if the other party isn’t willing.  Goooogggle??? Anyone???

Needless to say Boy – 1, suppository – 0

He took his panado syrup later, after he felt less traumatized, and his fever broke. I think he also realized what would happen if he didn’t. The next day my boy was back to his busy self! Sometimes Google just doesn’t have all the answers.

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